Wedgy
| It is a truth universally acknowledged that the moment you do something for yourself, unreservedly and unabashedly for yourself (like get a makeover at the office by a spectacular makeup artist named Julie Ban), your mom falls spectacularly to pieces on the newly Pledged floor of her friend’s house. More specifically, she breaks her hip and wrist and is lying immovable in a pile on the floor of that said friend’s house. Yes, still a friend – even though my mother’s “life event” has adversely affected her enjoyment of life, in some ways her friend is still worse off because her life has not changed. You put those pieces together. Anyway, I think it is safe to say that I was the most fancily made up person in the ER that evening, probably that whole week. My mom liked it, though I can’t imagine she didn’t like much that evening, as heavily drugged with painkillers as she was.Lia uses her dad’s golf club as a cane and when asked what happened, she explains that it was because of the wedge. Either she means something fancy related to golfing (you never know) or she means wax+Pledge=wedge. She had heard the story told many times, “Somebody waxed the floor with Pledge…yeah…not smart…” and “wedge” is what came out. |
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